Icha Icha Lumberjack
by ThePervertClub
Summary: Who knew pissing the sexy boss off would get such...satisfying results. If Sasuke had known he probably would have done it sooner...HidanSasu.... Erotic Aphyxiation, Anal, AU/AR, BP, M/M, Oneshot, PWP...COMPLETE!


First let me say something. ThePervertClub is a joint account for four authors: Cassandra Incognito, Miss. Adorkable, movethemhands, and Aisu. We decided to get together make a place to let all our perverted ideas go to, it's not really a club.

All our oneshots will be Icha Icha titled and will be nothing but pure smut for your enjoyment, all different kinds of couples because we get bored with the same ol couples over and over again so hopefully we can please everyone. Each oneshot is written by ONE author and only one, we don't do well with co-authored fics.

We are always up for your ideas so don't be shy, tell us what you'd like. Of course we most likely wont write all of them and we wont always write quickly but love hearing from you.

So thanks for taking the time to stumble onto this page, we hope we can satisfy you.

This oneshot happens to be written by: I'm not allowed to tell -waves slowly with a creepy smile-

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Hair so blond one could almost call it silver slid down across sweat slicked skin and framed the fine features of Hidan's face giving him an even more wild look as a few strands stuck to the rough five o'clock shadow that started to build along his chistled chin. His' finger's came up and brushed the stray pieces behind his ear before dropping down and scratching ideally at his cheek. "Fucking hell." The man grumbled softly to himself as he pressed the head of his axe into the ground and leaned back on the other end, releasing another frustrated sigh.

"What," a loud thunking sound called out through the surrounding trees as the kid next to him swung his axe into the tree before him, " is the," the axe dug into the tree once more, this time the base snapped and his foot came forward and kicked the small thing down, "matter now?" The young man quickly shook his head from left to right before running his own finger's through his sweat drenched locks then moved his gaze to look with a scornful glare at Hidan.

The man glared down at the boy as he lifted his axe and pointed it at the kid, a slow churning burning in the lower regions of his stomach as he caught a glimpse of the pale chest glimmering in the hot afternoon sun with soft black chest hairs curling around giving the lad a more adult look too him. "Boy don't you be fucking talking to me like a cocky little bastard or I'll likely chop yer fucking dick off and shove it down your throat. I don't care if yo pa owns this place or not, he put me in charge of ya for the three months you have to work here."

A fire glew behind those dark Mauve eyes that unsettled Sasuke's stomach but he was an Uchiha, so he set his hardest glare toward the man and let his axe fall to a relaxed position beside him, "What the hell is your problem? I just asked what the fuck is the matter with you now since you seem to always have something going wrong."

In a brief second Hidan's eyes had widened with rage before snapping to thin glaring slits as the man jumped down from the small mound he stood on, he stomped forward with axe swinging at his side until he was chest to chest with the defeyant Uchiha, "Yer fucking tone is my fucking problem, boy. Sides that my problem is this fucking tree I 'pose to be fucking choppin down right now. Its rotted straight to hell aint a single inche of it savable. And I reckon all the bitches around here are fucking infested to."

Sasuke's brow furrowed together as he searched the area, a stern glare still glinting in his eyes as he breifly locked eyes with Hidan. "I doubt that, the other trees seem as though they'd be per-" his words were cut off as Hidan's wooden axe handle slammed into his chest and sent him flying back.

Sasuke's feet glided across the grass sprinkled land with ease, the force of Hidan's powerful arms leaving him no way to fight back. Before Sasuke could blink his back as digging into the sharp bark of the nearest large oak, head cracking against it with a dull thud.

All of Hidan's thick barrel chested weight pressed into the young man as his finger's gripped around the long thick handle pressing achingly hard into his chest, his finger's just barely brushing up against that of Hidan's. Silver hair fell forward again, shadowing the man's features giving him a darker more menacing look as his knee slammed between the Uchiha's thighs and pressed into the tree. "Boy...I told ya to watch your fucking tongue around me."

Sasuke's heart thudded in his chest as he continued to put on the toughguy front while staring the man down, Hidan wasn't a man to be messed with. From his first day in this camp Sasuke had admired and feared the man for his quick wit and sharp temper, the man's body was practically ripping with muscles. Hidan, though somewhat short, was most likely the strongest body around...having the ablity to swing his axe and half a full grown tree near the first try.

When Sasuke was first placed in Hidan's 'care' he almost quit right then and there, but in order for his father to someday let him run this place as well as the many other companies and such he owned his boys had to worked for a set amount of time in at least one of those buisnesses.

Itachi had done it and passed with flying colors so there was no way Sasuke could have backed out...even if his boss was a raging maniac who on the second week of Sasuke's stay here lost his grip on the axe and got the axe stuck in his left leg. The man simply cursed and ripped the thing out and bandaged it up with a serious of mumbles tumbling from his lips as Sasuke watched, it was the sexiest thing Sasuke had ever seen.

The one thing Sasuke would ever admit to anyone...ever...is that he held a deep lust for the man. Daily he was forced to work side by side with the silver haired man, made to depend on the handsome hunk with his life, having to stare at the glistening shirtless torso as he raped the air with his powerful axe and demolish any tree in sight with the ease that one would use to butter a piece of bread.

Everytime Hidan casually brushed up against, even for the slightest second, his lower region seemed to ignite with sparks that coursed through his body and made his eyes flutter with delight.

Even the strong scent of Hidan's musk sent chills raking through the Uchiha's body, it was a scent entirely made of Hidan. Just a tickle of it from a gentle breeze caused his cheeks to flush just slightly. Now, with the man pressed right up against him, Hidan's powerful scent overpowered his senses and forced the release of thousands of butterflies to reak havoc on his insides. Hidan's eyebrow pitched up to crease his forhead as he caught the small almost inaudiable moan that whispered through the Uchiha's lips.

A sudden yearning jolted Hidan's muscles awake, his lovestick twitching slightly in his form fitting jeans. His eyes slid down the creamy alabaster skin before him, breaking the connection he had with the half hearted glare the Uchiha was sending him. Finger's twisting tightly around the soild wooden handle made a soft squeaking/rubbing sound as it moved forcefully across the waxed surface. Hidan hadn't seen anything more appealing then the Uchiha brat in a long time, it made his trouser snake growl just at the thought of Sasuke naked and writhing beneath him.

Sasuke tried to gain control of himself, squeezing his eyes shut as he growled, "Get off me Hidan." He bucked his hips forward in hopes of unbalancing the other man and forcing him back. He only successed in grinded his stiffening johnson against Hidan's toned thigh, idiot Sasuke forgot that lumberjacks had to be the most balanced people in the world with powerful limbs...if they weren't they'd most likely die quickly.

The raven haired youth turned his face to the side as he tried to recoil from the masculine body pressed against him, his back and behind digging into the tree hoping he could get absorbed by it. He could feel a darker shade of pink burn across his cheeks, he couldn't believe this was happening to him now...he _always_ had complete control of his emotions...of course he also had never been _this_ close to the object of his desire.

Hidan was at a loss as to what he should do, Sasuke was pratically begging to be fucked at the moment...but the lad was still trying to act like nothing was happening. Normally by now the man would be tearing the kid a new one for trying to tell HIM what to do but words couldn't even form on his tongue, he slid the handle slowly up until the Uchiha's neck started to sink in under its pressure. Sasuke's eyes snapped open as his whole body shot alive with shock and he turned to face Hidan as the handle pressed into his adam's apple and kept going until his feet stamped on the ground.

Sasuke tried to choke out a question but only managed grabbled cries, Hidan leaned closer causing his breathe to swipe across Sasuke's buzzing skin making goosebumps ripple all over his body and heat to swirl in his groin. "Sasuke, who do you think you are telling me what to do." Not exactly what he wanted to say but it would do, he wanted to make Sasuke beg for what he _now_ knew the young male wanted as well.

Ferious black eyes boared into his own as Hidan smirked down he pulled the axe handle back and let oxygen flood the Uchiha's lungs but he kept it floating just above the lad's skin so he could feel it and know it would be forced back on him if need be. Sasuke thought better of trying to hit the man, there is no way he'd survive that even as an Uchiha he knew that.

He was trying to think of ways to get out of this situation before it got any worse, but just as he thought he was on the brink of finding an answer he caught a glimpse of something in Hidan's eyes...something he thought he'd never see...a glint of lust. It couldn't be, he was the only one feeling something like that at the moment...right?

Quickly he looked down at Hidan's throat and groaned as he watched a bead of sweat glide down the man's adam's apple then coast over his thick collarbone and dissappear as it quickly sped down Hidan's smooth skin. The burning afternoon sun beat down on them, making Sasuke's mind even more wozzy.

'_God, why do we have to be so far out in the woods with no one else around. Fucking Hidan and his obsession with people not being near enough to ruin whatever it is he always yammered on about. It is against the fucking rules but no one cared cause it is _Hidan.'

The younger of the two clamped down on his lower lip as he tilted his head back and stared up at the branches laying over them like a lazy roof. Hidan leaned forward as he examined the mark that stretched the width of Sasuke's neck, made by the wooden handle. The man pressed the handle to the spot once more and smirked as the Uchiha grimaced, he pushed it harder then rolled it back then forward again...as if massaging it...but kept pressure against the throat the whole time making breathing difficult for Sasuke.

Sasuke's face was starting to turn a brillant shade of red as his mouth gaped like a fish out of water, fingers stiffening to point out straight up as his half hard flesh flute grinded against Hidan's thigh once more. A moan mixed in softly with the man's gasps as he repeated the action again, eyes now rolling back as his head swam and his manhood throbbed with pleasure.

Lust clouded the silver haired man's eyes as he watched the exotic sight, Sasuke was actually _enjoying_ this.

"What else would ya enjoy, boy?" Sasuke's finger's clamped down on the handle once more as the back of his head dug into the bark behind. He shifted his hips slightly and bucked forward again. This time his strangled moan a little louder as he found himself rubbing his hard mantenna against Hidan's own hardening piece.

Slowly, with a smirk still trailing across Hidan's lips he pulled the axe down and shifted it in his hands until the side of the metal skimmed across Sasuke's defined chest. As Sasuke slowly gasped for breath, reality slowly churning back into his mind, his eyes snapped open with shock as he felt Hidan turn the blade and let the sharpened steel creep along his skin.

A small line of red started to smile out at him before quickly broadening out, blood dripping hastily down the youth's broad chest till meeting its end and being soaked into Sasuke's dull white shirt. Hidan purred in delight as his tongue dragged up the long gash causing Sasuke to let out a low sensual sigh while his arms came forward and gripped Hidan's shirt. Lapping up a fresh stream of blood Hidan tilted his head back then leaned forward again, pressing his lips to Sasukes and forcing his tongue to dive in.

The taste of his own blood swirled in the Uchiha's mouth as Hidan's greedy tongue pressed forward. A growl vibrated through Hidan's chest as his hungry mouth took all Sasuke had to offer and when Sasuke thought all his air would run out the man pulled back and opted to bite roughly on his lowerlip bringing a groan about that made Hidan's dick twitch.

Kissing the battered lip softly Hidan smirked against the reddening lips as Sasuke's finger's ripped at the man's shirt until all the buttons had either snapped off or come undone. Thin pale finger's roamed the expanse of thick burly chest with a vigour never before experienced by Hidan, teasing finger's swirled around a dusty pink nipple...alternating hard pinches with gentle ones that caused it to perk up.

Blood dribbled slowly down their chins and streamed the length of their necks like slow moving waterfalls. Hidan's lust started to get the better of him as his pleasure rod meet with Sasuke's in yet another pleasurefull union. Hidan pulled back to stare at the picture before him, his lovestick hardened completely just at the sight. Crimson liquid continued to trickle from the first wound as blood stained the delicate features below the nose. Sasuke's eyes dilated as his mouth lay slack, arms still stretched out so his lean finger's could clutch at Hidan's loose collar.

Sluggishly the flat side of the axe dragged along Sasuke's shirt and cut the tough material in half till it pooled behind his shoulder's and was quickly ripped off by Hidan and tossed to the side. Cupping the handle with his left hand Hidan brought the axe back up to Sasuke's chest a few inches below the first cut, which lay about an inch above Sasuke's nipple and dragged till ending at the middle of his chest, he pressed the sharp blade to the skin and pressed in. As he drew the blade down once more, earning a throaty cry that turned into breathey moan, Hidan lapped at a small pool of blood at the nape of Sasuke's neck before digging his teeth in. Damn did the sight of blood turn Hidan harder then an icesicle.

Sasuke bucked into Hidan as his arms wrapped around the man's neck, finger's twisting into the medium length locks as tears slid down his porcelin cheeks. "Hidan." he cried out softly. A warm summer breeze came along and wrapped around their bodies sending shivers trembling through them, bringing about small goosebumps. The man chuckled as he pressed his perfect pink lips to his bite mark followed by his slick tongue.

"Hidan, _please_." A moan built in Hidan's chest as Sasuke's first cry echoed in his ears. His left hand make fast work of Sasuke's zipper and quickly pulled the jeans down till they fell to a mess at Sasuke's feet, the lad kicked them away as his lips meet with Hidan's. The kiss burned through Sasuke like nothing he had ever felt before, it made his body ache for more as he fisted the locks of silvergold hair.

"You aint got any boxers or nuttin on, boy." Sasuke just shook his head as he stood completely naked before the man, toes curling in the ground below. He couldn't take anymore of this, his body yearned for more, his joystick was throbbing with need as he stared at the man before him...his blood coating the other's chest and beautifully abused lips smirked at him. The Uchiha gripped Hidan's waist and tugged down as he groaned, god why did the pants have to be so snug, in desperation both hands gripped the band as he wiggled the material around. Lust laced his mind keeping him from forming any logical thought like using the zipper.

"Gonna rip off my thundersword if ya keep tuggin like that." Hidan growled as he went to assist the young man in taking off his pants. Groaning softly as the pants finally glided down over his pulsing 'thundersword' he bucked forward and smiled as Sasuke cried out at the friction of his whitey-tighty clothed erection rubbing against Sasuke's own free member.

Letting the axe fall to the ground below Hidan let his newly freed hand come forward, his thumb pressed against the top of the second gash and wiggled around forcing a cry to burst through Sasuke's lips as the youth's arms shot up and he dug his nails into Hidan's shoulder. The man moaned softly at the small stabbing pain throbbing from his shoulders.

Pressing his palm against the baby smooth skin of Sasuke's shuddering chest he let his arm leisurely glide up until his thumb came to a rest on the quivering adam's apple, the rest of his finger's spreading out to grip the neck firmly.

"God." Sasuke sighed as his legs came up and hooked around Hidan's thighs he whipped Hidan closer as he grinded his exposed flesh tower against the other once more, "Please just fuck me already." Hot blood oozed down his lean torso sending shivers rippling through him, he leaned his head back into the brownish gray bark behind him and locked his legs tighter.

Just as he was about to plead a bit more he felt Hidan's thumb squeeze his throat, his eyes bulged as the muscles in his body seized, "_Hi_-" was all he managed to gasp as his finger's clawed at the man's rumbling chest. The man leaned forward and ran his tongue along Sasuke's jaw as his other arm stayed hooked around the youth's thin figure, keeping his hand on the Uchiha's ass with a tight grip to keep him from falling out of his arms.

"Pull my undergarments down boy, and I'll give ya a bit more air to breath." Hidan stated firmly as his nose pressed to the side of Sasuke's neck and drew up till his lips pressed to the edge of his jaw and lightly lay half kisses to the ear, his lips tenderly drew in the hanging lobe and sucked it gently while occasionally letting his tongue sample a bit of the flesh. Sasuke groaned softly as he gasped for air, Hidan's fingers gripper tighter time went on.

Blindly Sasuke's hands moved down Hidan's chest, moving along past the perfect bellybutton until coming to an abrupt stop where material met thick sexy muscles. Closing his eyes as tears continued to rain from his eyes, a combination of building lust and pain, Sasuke fumbled with the band as his mouth gaped. He tried wiggling his thighs out of the way but kept coming to a stand still when hit his hands on them. He just couldn't figure out a way to get the damn thing off with his legs still hooked around the man's built frame.

He scaresly had time to ponder more of this situation when Hidan suddenly crushed his mouth to Sasuke's, barely having any oxygen was a lot but now having what little he had before sucked away as his mouth was assulted in more then pleasureable ways was almost too much. His eyes swam to the back of his head as a burning sensation traveled through him, it was like he was floating as his senses were thrown into overdrive every feeling...every touch...every pass of a gentle breeze overpowered him. Simply put it was the most amazing thing he'd ever experienced in his short life and if it killed him it'd be more then worth it.

Creeping his hips up along Hidan's waist he managed to drag his needy slong up along the man making him choke into Hidan's demanding mouth. He moved up until his lovestick was pressing against the man's bellybutton and his legs no longer held the tighty whities up. Moving his arms at an awkward angle underneath his thighsk he managed to work Hidan's underwear down past his at attention joystick but couldn't work them down the thighs so he left them there to cling to Hidan's powerful thighs.

The man chuckled as he pulled some pressure off his thumb and allowed a tickle of oxygen to relieve Sasuke's growing need for air, but not too much...like a tease of life. "Good job, boy. Now one last thing, I aint gonna stretch ya...ya certainly look to me like you could take it all and then some...But I need ya to lube up my thundersword so its a bit easier fer the both of us." Sasuke didn't hear most of what the man said as all the oxygen in his mind was coursing down to his pleasure rod along with all his blood. But what he did hear was "need...lube."

Shaking fingers swiped across his chest coating his fingers in blood, Hidan's chest bellowed with laughter as he realized what the Uchiha intended to do. If able to think Sasuke would think to himself how much of a workout he is getting with all this as he wiggled his hips and loosened his locked feet to slide back down Hidan's waist until his blood slicked fingers could grab the head of Hidan's lovestick, none-to-gently either.

The man hissed at the pressure then groaned softly as he bucked into the hand, helping to coat himself. Sasuke made one last swipe across his chest and one last coating before he bucked against the man's body crying out as loud he could before wrapping his arms around Hidan's neck and pulled the man closer as his feet hooked up higher on Hidan's waist and he grinded his ass down.

With his hand holding the Uchiha's lower back Hidan relaid heavy on Sasuke pulling his thighs apart far enough and angling them correctly, lucky it was like a basic instinct and he didn't even have to let the boy have anymore oxygen to feed his brain.

Unconsiously Hidan's fingers gripped the raven haired man's throat tighter as he pushed himself into the awaiting hole, he only realized this as Sasuke's anus clamped down around his throbbing hot lovestick and the young man's body stiffened. He probably would have cum then and there if he hadn't of released some pressure and gave more oxygen back to the lad causing him to relax somewhat into his grip.

Hidan pressed forward still and groaned as Sasuke pressed down on him, seemed the Uchiha really was all good to go, "Like a good little whore." the man breathed as he pulled back and slammed forward again. He bit down on his lower lip as he brought his head back to stare into Sasuke hazed over unfocused eyes, the lad looked like he was on an emotional rollercoaster. His brows creased with pain as his mouth hung loose as a bit of drool leaked down, whenever Hidan thrust forward Sasuke's eyes would roll back and his lids would flutter softly, nails still digging into his broad shoulders.

Sasuke's toes curled quickly as Hidan twisted to the left and hit his prostate dead on rather then barely brushing against it, his back dug into the bark behind him as he arched in the man's arms. The strange sensation of pain and pleasure churning together inside him made his body quake, it was almost too much. Hidan's fingers cutting off the one thing in life that had always came easy to him no matter what made his dick swell tremendously, he never experienced such helplessness in another's arms. Everything was so much more then he could ever expected.

Hidan's eyes slammed shut as his whole body tensed and a shudder rocked him briefly, his fingers stiffened as a well placed thrust of his caused Sasuke to arch a bit higher then before and pull his hips apart making him fall in deeper then before. Oxygen raced to Sasuke's lungs as the young Uchiha sucked it all in, choking briefly. The man thrust forward again, an added bit of blood leaking from the fresh wound he caused by bitting his own lip a bit to hard, and squeezed Sasuke's throat once more cutting the oxygen down to a gasping tickle.

Sasuke moaned low in his chest as his body shook and shuddered in Hidan's powerful arm, again and again Hidan thrust forward creating a delicious friction on his screaming flesh flute as his prostate was bombed with attention. He wouldn't last very long with such pleasureful abuse assulted him every single second.

Quickly he came with a strangled cry as his body quaked and his nails ripped down Hidan's glistening shoulders as his thighs locked around the man as tightly as he could before burning. Hidan grunted as he came soon after, teeth grinding together as his hand gripped Sasuke's neck with a force probably a bit stronger then he should have.

When finally the world came swirling back to his mind Hidan opened his glazed eyes and smirked at the nearly passed out Uchiha till under his thumb. He quickly pulled his hand back and let it glide smoothly down Sasuke's side until gripping his waist. Slowly he pulled out then lowered the raven haired youth to the ground as the lad's head lulled from side to side and his chest heaved, still quivering slightly.

As the young man sat on a their combined pants, sweat streaming down his pale body, he blinked the world back into his mind sluggishly.

After a few minutes, Hidan having pulled his undergarments up tucking his wonderwand back in safely then smoothing back his wild mane, Sasuke's eyes fluttered up to search the man's face. When finally Hidan noticed the youth was looking at him he perked a brow as if question him.

A scrowl lined the Uchiha's features, more like his normal self, as he growled, "Sadistic bastard."

Hidan chuckled softly to himself as he ripped his jeans out from underneath the limp body of Sasuke. With the pants pulled up Hidan looked down at the still half glaring Sasuke and smirked, "Masochistic whore." The Uchiha's glare pinched his face as his leg lazily kicked out and clipped Hidan's right leg. The man faked a hurt look, "Do ya hafta be so cruel after I just treated ya so nicely?"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes as he shifted on the ground, trying to sit up. It took a few moments and a bit of help from an apathetic Hidan but Sasuke was finally on his feet, barefoot and naked in the middle of the woods with his shirt laying in tatters not from from him and his jeans stained with crimson. He sighed as his fingers ran through his hair, when his palm stuck slightly to his cheek as it rested there for a brief second his eyes widened.

He looked down at his chest then at his hands. "God there is blood everywhere...and I'm still fucking bleeding!"

"Change of clothes and firstaid kit in the truck, should get ya fixed up in a jiffy." Hidan nodded as he leaned forward and gripped his axe handle and lifted his trusted tool up. He walked a few feet away and brought the axe back but froze as Sasuke called out.

"What in the hell are you doing? You are shirtless...covered in yours and my blood...and you are going to go back to chopping down trees.

Hidan shook his head as he smiled softly, pulling the axe back and letting it rip forward. As he pulled back again he called out as he stared forward at the tree, "Its still our job ta get these trees down. 'Sides...I'm feelin suddenly rejuvenated."

Sasuke laughed softly as he shook his head and stood at the side of the trunk, reaching in and grabbing a few things out. They always had spare clothes just incase..but never did he think that just incase would be for a moment like this.

Boy would he have fun trying to explain his tattered bloody clothes, the dark bruise that would most likely decorate his neck for the coming weeks, and the two deep cuts running almost the whole width of his chest to his co-workers and father. He once more shook his head, totally worth whatever may come of this. Maybe it wasn't so bad working out of the pack all alone with Hidan.

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That was my first Hidan fic! I'm so excited to hear if I did an ok job on it XD I never before realized how hot HidaSasu is until a friend suggested this couple for my oneshot. I've always wanted to write lumberjack smex just didn't know who with! Hahah. Hm, was the Hidan accent thing too weird? I just figured that Hidan would have a cute little accent if ever he were a lumberjack.

So everyone, hope I didn't disappoint with our first Icha Icha. There is many many many...MANY to come in the future with many different couples and situations so please keep an eye out for them.

Also...

You most likely noticed this but I used a lot of random words to refer to the penis. Thats cause I made a small agreement with some friends that I would write this without using the same'ol boring words like Cock, penis, or memeber. I couldn't take it seriously myself as I wrote it so I hope it didn't ruin it for you too much

Lastly, I waited for about an hour for our beta to sign on...but I happen to be an impatient person so I went ahead and posted. Hope it wasn't too horrible with the whole un-beta'd thing.


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